The Bullet Catch: (An Eli Marks Mystery Book 2) (The Eli Marks Mysteries) by John Gaspard

Author:John Gaspard [Gaspard, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Albert's Bridge Books
Published: 2019-07-21T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirteen

“Eli, let’s think of your subconscious as a balloon.”

“Is this a magician metaphor? Are these balloons in the shape of animals?”

Dr. Bakke ignored the comment and plowed ahead. “And think of stress as just one of the gases that fills that balloon. If the balloon gets too full of stress, something has got to give somewhere. Hence, your attacks.”

“So, these ‘hey, let’s throw ourselves off a high building’ thoughts are just like holes in a balloon?”

“Essentially.”

“Well, given that it happened again today and in front of my ex-wife no less, I think we need to patch that balloon. And pronto.”

“Well, if you want to continue with the metaphor, a patch is just that – a patch. I think it would be better to find a way to keep from overfilling the balloon.”

I spread my hands in front of me in a posture of supplication. “I’m all yours.”

“I believe what’s happening to you is that your subconscious has taken an existing fear and, in a sense, super-sized it.”

“Like a Coke at a movie theater?”

“Sort of. Before these major panic attacks began, can you think of experiences in your recent past where you experienced acrophobia?”

“Well, let me see,” I said, thinking back over the last few months. “I was at a party last year where the porch had a glass or acrylic floor, it was see-through. I was only up a couple of stories, but I didn’t care for that.”

Dr. Bakke dutifully made a note. “Any other instances?”

“Well, last fall when Megan and I almost died, I took a heck of a tumble down a steep incline. It was a big hill, maybe three or four stories high.”

“That could be significant,” he said.

“Well, sure, but that took five seconds. I’d spent the previous hour trapped in a cave in pitch darkness. Why don’t I have super-sized claustrophobia?”

“Because you didn’t have claustrophobia to begin with. You had a minor fear of heights, which has now blossomed into a major fear of height. And it’s starting to get in the way of your day-to-day life.”

“You could say that,” I deadpanned. “So, what do we do? Dig back into my childhood?”

He shook his head. “I’m not a big fan of that.”

“Sure, that’s because for you it was only five minutes ago.”

“I think our best course of action,” he said, keenly ignoring my remark, “would be to continue with the immersion therapy, just not to the extreme that you took it at your high school reunion.”

“Understood,” I said. “I’m for any plan that gets me back to my previous level of acrophobia, or that can get rid of it altogether.”

“That’s fine, but you may get even more than that,” he said. “Remember, sometimes our greatest fear is actually our greatest strength.”

“Again with the fortune cookies,” I joked, but I’d later find that the good doctor’s little piece of wisdom was closer to the truth than I might have imagined.

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